When the children swear

When the children swear

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The independence that little by little children are savoring induces them to try the limit of what is allowed. They jump, run, eat and dress themselves, and each day they rediscover the power of language. Saying tacos or curses is an example of this, especially when they share activities or a playground with older children.

An expletive or taco usually arises when the child discovers and uses the power of language to express himself. Chronologically we can place this circumstance between 3 and 5 years of age, when the child goes to the 'senior school'.

It is one more stage that some children go through. However, a curse or a taco in the mouth of a childAt these ages, it is 'nothing' if we strip it of the expressive load that it carries. When a child says 'silly' or 'stupid', addressing his mother, he does not want to convey the meaning of these words to her. Most likely, he does so because he is unable to find words like these to express his state of mind.

What is important in these situations is that parents channel negative feelings and children's cursing into other forms of expression. What have you said? A disgruntled mother asks the son who has just swore. Is this the best way to fight to prevent children from swearing?

What can we parents do when faced with the swearing of our children, considering that each family places the child within the limits that it considers acceptable, since not all of us are 'offended' by the same words. Follow some recommendations:

1. Set an example
If you don't want your child to swear, don't say it yourself. Furthermore, what has not been heard cannot be reproduced or imitated.

2. Avoid laughing or smiling at any swear word
As funny as an expression or some curse may be, laughing at it is a mistake because it encourages the child to repeat it.

3. Explain the effect of swearing.
Explain simply and clearly that these words offend, annoy, are not respectful and if they were said to him, he would not like to be treated like that either.

4. Stay calm and don't give it too much importance
An overly affected attitude on the part of the adult can produce the opposite effect, that is, that the child feels that the tacos are not the best way to get the attention of their parents. It is best to redirect this stage naturally so that the curse words 'lose their power' and their effect on the child.

5. Offer alternatives
Provide other words to a feeling or situation in which the child is. Each family can adopt the words of its cultural and social environment that are most appropriate. Teach children, for example, that it is better to tell their brother that he is upset because you broke his stroller, than to call him a 'fool' or 'donkey'. Parents can come up with a fun new word to replace one of the offensive ones.

6. Offer readings to increase vocabulary of the child
Make him discover new words, expressions, exclamations ... more fun. If the situation persists, perhaps the parents should consider other causes, for example, if they give enough attention to the child or if they are being too rigid with their education. The child may be using the insults just to get the attention of his parents. It can happen that if he behaves well they do not pay as much attention to him as when he behaves badly.

Source consulted:
- The book 'Happy parenting', by Rosa Jové, Ed. La Esfera.

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