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'Antonio, can you take out the dishwasher?', 'Pepe, can you make your bed?', 'Can you give me the dirty clothes?' 'Any volunteer to set the table?' ... Thus, we could give many more examples ... This is the daily war in the home of any family with children. But it is a war that can be avoided by changing habits from a very young age. In my house, we put the gear that we could call the ordering method, with which we get that the children help at home, while we work on their sense of responsibility, autonomy and self-esteem.
Many times our children hear the word tasks or tasks and their first reaction is to blow, complain or look the other way. Let's not fool ourselves, our children like to have orders, they do not like to have an obligation and less at home. I say 'less at home', because whenever they go to other people's houses they are the ones who help the most, 'Hey how well your son behaves. You don't know what has helped us' ... Does it sound familiar?
We all live surrounded by more people, we are within a society, and as parents we have to make our children understand that they also belong to this society. All children, our children, must have your personal responsibilities and at the same time responsibilities for others, to do a common good. Always depending on how old they are, we can demand some things or others.
A boy or girl with responsibilities at home from minute one, you will feel useful at home. By feeling useful, your self-esteem will grow and what better way than to have a child with good self-esteem, if so, everything else will work.
We think many times that the responsibilities of our children end up in their room (making their beds, ordering toys, nothing on the floor ...) but we have to see what lies beyond. Outside your room is the rest of the house, and we have to take care of it together and contribute to the tasks. In this way, we get children to start giving themselves to others.
In order for the commissioning method to work with children, I always recommend keeping the following guidelines in mind.
1. Children must have at least two assignments
I always tell the families I work with at school that their children should have at least two assignments or tasks. Of these two, one of the tasks should be a family assignment and the other personal.
2. They are proposed at a family gathering
In addition, I always recommend, as I do at home, with my family, to do a small 'theater' and call a family meeting to assign orders. In this way, we manage to convey to children how important this topic is.
3. We change orders periodically
It is good that we change orders from time to time. We can take advantage, for example, with the change of quarter or with the change of the season of the year to propose new ones. It is possible that, over time, we detect that some of the children begin to not solve the order or to do it wrong. In this case, we can propose a change before. When they change jobs, they are motivated again by a new responsibility.
4. Not doing his errands for him
I'm going to give you a very graphic example, but it works. If we have a son whose job is to set the table, and one day he forgets to do it, let's not do it. We have to put the food on the table, we all sit down, and seeing that we cannot eat because the cutlery or plates are missing, let him see how important his order is, that without his task no one in this house can eat. By doing this exercise you will see how he will do it the next day because he will have realized how important he is in this house.
5. Orders must be age-appropriate
The orders must be established according to the ages of the children, it is clear that each child cannot be required the same.
Below you can see the poster that we have made in my house and that we always have in view so that all my children know what their orders are for a week. In addition, we take the opportunity to detail schedules and uses of the family computer.
As we have said before, commissions can be divided into family or personal. Some examples of family assignments, those tasks to help at home, to be given to others are the following:
- Sort the cushions at home.
- Raise the blinds when you get home or lower them if we leave.
- Put on or remove the dishwasher.
- Order the room.
- Vacuuming (they love it!).
- Watering plants.
- Pick up the hanging clothes or hang them up (depending on age).
- Read stories to little brothers.
- Give mom and dad a hug every day.
Personal commissions, those orders that you must do yourself with your things, can be some of these:
- Clean shoes.
- Make the bed.
- Tidy up the clouth.
- Sort the toys.
- Prepare the school backpack.
- Prepare sports clothing.
The goal of personal commissions is to get children to get used to them and incorporate them into their routines. In this way, when they take responsibility for their tasks, they end up assuming them as their own and they become part of their day to day.
You can read more articles similar to The very useful method of assignments for children to help at home, in the category of on-site autonomy.