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If you are also a mother, you will agree with me that education is a whole world. And it is that no matter how simple it looks from the outside, raising the little ones has its own. My son, I have already told you on occasion, is 7 years old and my daughter 2. Since they were born I have heard many phrases that do not convince me. I know that almost all, if not all, are said with the best of intentions, but I still can't find any meaning in it. Let's do one thing, I write down here those things that I, as a mother, I don't want anyone to tell my children and you finish the list with yours. Let's go there!
I have started to think about all those things that family, friends or people that you come across on the street and 'pretend to be nice' say to children, to my children. And I have also started to think that almost none of them seem right to me. Is it just my thought? Read them all and tell me if you also share this feeling.
1. I don't want you to tell my daughter that she is a boy because she wears a blue coat
My children were born in September, 5 years apart, so, as you can imagine, a lot of the clothes my son wore in his day are now what my baby wears. The other day he was going for a walk with her, he was wearing his brother's navy blue coat, and a boy who passed him said to his grandmother: 'Look what a pretty girl'. To which the grandmother replied: 'Yes, but it's a boy, he's wearing a blue coat.' Please, do not say phrases like this to my children, or yours, or your grandchildren, or your nephews ... Colors are only colors! It goes without saying that I don't want you to tell them that pink is for girls, or that dolls are games for them and cars for them. It's time to change these ideas, don't you think?
2. I don't want you to say to me 'Why don't you put earrings on the girl?'
To what I was telling you in the previous point, I add this another. More than once my baby has been called 'boy' for not wearing earrings. Of course I don't care if they think it's a boy or a girl, it doesn't matter, what I don't share, nor do I want boys to share, is that girls should wear earrings whether they like it or not.
3. Never tell children they can't be princesses
Nor would I like to hear phrases like that girls cannot play superheroes, or monsters, or whatever else passes through their incredible imaginations. If we, responsible adults, start to clip their wings when they are very young, we will end up breaking the illusion that characterizes the smallest of the house so much.
4. I don't want you to ask them whether they are good or bad
Since my children were born I have heard these questions every two by three: 'Is he behaving?', 'Is he good?' So, since my oldest son hears and understands them too, he says to me from time to time: 'Mom, have I been good today?' It is that I still do not understand what it is to behave well or badly, is it that if a child makes a prank of his age, he is already bad? I prefer to say at home that we must respect others and learn to be responsible for our things, the rest is unimportant, don't you think?
5. I don't want you to tell my son not to cry
I still remember when I was a child and a classmate in my class got hurt. She cried like anyone would in her place with the difference that you always heard someone say 'crying is for girls'. Of course, this is how we teach children to show their feelings. Another concept that today's society must change!
6. If someone hits you, don't tell them it's okay
Of course we should not exaggerate things or take them out of context when a child hits or mistreats another, but it is not the right thing to look the other way and pretend nothing had happened. Better to bet on dialogue and encourage the little ones to tell what happened and how they feel about it.
7. And of course, I don't want you to tell them that dreams don't come true.
Don't tell any child and don't say those words out loud either, why? Well, because they are not true at all. Better change your thinking and say the phrase that my son's teacher wrote as an end-of-year dedication: 'In the world of fantasy, everything is possible, never stop dreaming.'
And you? What else would you like to add to the list that you don't want your kids to tell?
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